| bring out the clown in every face |
[Nov. 19th, 2007|02:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | aly & aj - rush | ] |
i just had this curious thought.
it is only when i see people looking ridiculous, that i realize how much i love them.
like willing to wear my cheap pink flip-flops in two states of the country for the whole day.
like running in the rain toonishly and get wet in a shopping mall.
like having a fantastic dinner with sloppy hair and soaked tshirt n jeans.
like sitting in a train very nicely just because the shit is coming.
like pulling a straight face when the truth is you're effing afraid of heights.
like the hilarious laughter when being tickled on the ribs.
like quickly locking up the door when being chased into the bathroom everytime you need to go.
like crying with anger but still trying so hard to put an honest smile.
like falling asleep before even answering a simple yes/no question.
like dancing flirtatiously when obviously it's not even sexy.
like waving frantically as if i can stop the bus and go back into your arms.
like not talking just because you need me to say sorry which is so hard for me to do.
like a lot of stuff coming more and more each day.
:) |
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| STINKY INDULGENCE |
[Sep. 26th, 2007|11:12 pm] |
| [ | location |
| | nucleus of hell | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  good | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the hushed - we intertwined | ] |
am currently addicted to tempoyak. i have never thought that it would taste this good. I've been refusing to taste it since I was little because of the smell, but when my housemate insisted to make me taste her mother's last month, i did. and i totally fell to my knee loving it. I can't eat my nasi without it ever since.
So last weekend i went back home to spend my puasa with some frens and the bf. i told him about the whole tempoyak-makes-me-go-wawaweewoo story. then he offered me his nenek's tempoyak. mesti la nak k! :) so yea, by the end of the weekend i managed to smuggle a small container of tempoyak back to utm. seronok!
the weekend was spent full of drama. ade je benda tak kena. but i was glad i get to spend it with the right people. it felt so good to be near with the other half. it's good to know that i'm finally with the correct person. not perfect. just the correct one for me. it doesn't matter to me if he used to have like a gazillion girls before. because the truth is women love to compete with other women. women want to win men over. we want to be chosen by a man who could have any girl he wants. no woman of caliber wants to win a man by default. she wants her man to be a prize, a good catch, someone she can be proud of. when you tell a woman that her significant other is handsome or intelligent, she’ll likely beam with self satisfaction. in complimenting her man, you’ve complimented her. you have told her, in so many words, that she is capable of attracting a quality mate. the women who rail against this usually have a low self esteem and thus avoid competition because they fear they’ll always fail….or they’re ugly. You pick.
then I started thinking about all the other ways in which women compete. For example, fashion. Women don’t dress to impress men. Men are just as happy to see us wearing one of their shirts than in a smart pants suit. Women dress to impress other women. Women also compete with other women in terms of popularity and prestige. Women these days would gather friends and worshipers around them like little status symbols. Men don’t care about how many phone numbers a woman has programmed into her cell phone. But women just can't help themselves from peeking through the phonebook of the other half to see how many other women have got themselves in there.
the question is, how does tempoyak relates to women's competitiveness? let's think and come up with witty answers.
good day people :) |
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| bleagh. |
[Jul. 9th, 2007|02:19 pm] |
| [ | location |
| | empty apartment | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  devious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jack johnson - banana pancake | ] |
am getting attached to someone new.
someone i know too much of.
someone who already has too many girlfriends.
someone i've never thought i'd be with.
i dont know why i bow down to his nature.
urgh, heart break prone nye.
my death intake is increasing.
might quit, might not.
just found out that my best friend has been diagnosed with lung cancer.
too late to quit, she said.
i dont know.
lately i restrain myself from thinking.
i refuse to figure out things.
for once, i like being dumb and stupid.
do stupid things with stupid people.
careless and free. |
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| I LOST MY MOJO |
[Apr. 16th, 2007|11:30 pm] |
no. not yet. i will do if i dont do much practice on finding responses to various transfer functions by saturday. and i need to to various modulation on different types of signals before tomorrow comes. man, why do people come up with such things that can cripple everybody up in tiny out-of-shape figures?
so, i went out to get some cakes and smokes with noni. we were hungry as fuck. but all the dining place we like are closed. even the chinese PC stores are closed. is there any public holiday that i dont know about?
oh, the funfair in Tmn U is opened to public once again after such controversies about gambling and stuff. and guess what, ada tomahawk wei. i think am gonna have a ride (maybe 8) after the finals are over (with or without company).
good luck and good day people :) |
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| CRUMBLING UNDER THE EXERTION |
[Mar. 28th, 2007|12:54 am] |
life's been mean to me these few weeks. I wish the lecturers know how this lack of sleep is very deathly (at least it is to me). am wondering how much scribbled papers, unfinished assignments, lighted buds, empty bottles does it take for me to finally put my hands down and cry in my daily-crap-taking session.
Two tests for tomorrow. a make-up test for strength of materials (for the previous test I missed because of self-nyanyukness) and control system's test II. the first one is at 2pm (in the lecturer's office, yes, doomed) and the second one is at 5pm. I don't know when or how or what am going to study to actually make tonight worth unslept.
I wish I don't have this much to think of. hey, at least I'm no longer thinking about romantic issues.
man, i need more boost and kretekans.
cheerio. |
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| THE EGG REFUSED TO HATCH |
[Feb. 3rd, 2007|06:13 pm] |
I just found out that no matter how long we've known a person, we could never have enough stories to tell. Like merns n me, we've known each other since mak gave birth to her. But till today, we've never ran out of stories to tell. Ade je benda yang tak cukup nak cerita.
Last night I had a late night chat with Noni. We were both so exhausted and just wanted to sleep. Tapi bila dah tutup lampu and all, baru nak keluar semua cerita dalam dunia ni. We told each other about our childhood stories. You know, like the best candy you ate, the things you do in primary school, lotsa stuff. Remeh, but enough to make us stay up all night.
She made me realize how lucky I am to have lived at the same place since I was little. I've been living in 19 since I was 2. Dari kecik sampai besar, I never appreciate the pasar malam in 19. But when I moved to S2, I keep thinking of all the good stuff at the pasar malam in 19. it's silly, but true. Noni pulak asek pindah je merata alam since she was little. Bila pindah, one of the things that you'll remember about the previous place is the pasar malam. Padahal berlambak pasar malam kat Seremban tu, but she keeps talking about the pasar malam in JB.
Then I keep thinking about trees. Merns should know how happy I am to have "pokok winter sonata" depan rumah s2. But you know what, I miss the trees back in 19. You know, the big trees yang bersusun depan rumah semua orang kat 19. Pokok yang ade benih putih bersusun macam helikopter tu. And have pink and purple flowers. haha. bila musim pokok tu menyebarkan benihnya, maka banyak la selipar yang tersangkut kat pokok tu akibat usaha semua budak-budak kat situ yang try nak buat benih2 putih tu jatuh banyak-banyak macam helikopter. kadang-kadang bila dah tersangkut sebelah selipar kat atas pokok tu, still akan baling selipar lagi sebelah. This time ada two targets: satu benih helikopter tu, satu lagi selipar yang dah tersangkut tu. hehe. sometimes i wish i could go back and do all those stuff. rindu weyyy.
I could never get the same serene feeling anywhere in the world. You know, when you sit really quiet on a sunny afternoon. Looking out of the sliding door, and you could see nobody walking outside. Not a sound. Just some birds chirping and the sound of the ceiling fan. Masa tu tak payah fikir apa-apa. Duduk situ and termenung je. But you feel complete. You don't have to have a boyfriend, you don't have to get good grades, you don't have to think how much you'll spend a day to save up your money. That's the kind of feeling I had back in 19. I could never look out my sliding door in s2 and have the same feeling. Maybe sebab dah tua. But if that's the reason, I don't want to grow up! I don't want to be more and more miserable each day. I don't want to have a lot of things to think of.
I want to be able to look forward to go to school just to play sep tiang and galah panjang. Then main zeropoint and lawan getah sape lagi panjang and tebal. pastu mase balik sekolah kutip the leftover chalks untuk buat lukis kotak-kotak tengteng kat jalan depan rumah. then lepak kat kedai yang ada jual soft drinks dalam botol kaca tu just sebab nak kutip tutup botol. then ponteng ngaji untuk cari cacing kat padang umno and cari pokok ceri kat seluruh pelosok 19 tu. i want to go back in time, so badly. no matter how long I've been away from 19, every place that I see in my sleep resembles 19 so clearly. and i'm thankful for that.
good day people. |
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| EAT THEM FIVE TIMES OVER |
[Dec. 16th, 2006|03:15 am] |
I used to really wanna be a teacher.
and I also wanted to be a singer.
but I never thought about being a doctor. never.
I dream of making my own resort on my own island somewhere at the South China Sea.
I wanna have lotsa speed boats and jetskis.
I wanna go to secret recipe and say, "I'll have all the cakes!"
I wanna go to dunkin donuts and say, "I'll have them all!"
I wanna go to baskin robbins and say, "yeah! i'll have them all!!!"
When I was little, I used to think whether it's possible for me to live 5 times over.
and now, I'm still wishing that I could live life 5 times over.
then I'd be born in 5 different cities, with 5 different houses.
I'd stuff myself full with different delicious things 5 times each.
I'd have 5 different jobs, with 5 different offices.
and then, for those 5 times,
I'd fall in love with the same person.
:) |
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| CHASING THE MOVING PICTURES |
[Nov. 21st, 2006|03:25 am] |
| [ | location |
| | U7B-606 | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | webb pierce - more and more | ] |
Final papers are over. It felt like "pheww..finally~" with a little bit of "i wish i was lucky enough".. It's always been that way. No matter how hard I kick my ass off to study, I always end up thinking "hmpf, baik takyah study".
Good thing is, throughout this whole exam weeks, I get to watch some of the movies that i've always wanted to watch. Like Don Juan de Marco, Amelie, Garden State, Serendipity, Eternal Sunshine, The Jacket and a few more. All thanks to Ihsan, si abang SEE as Noni always calls him.
It strikes me how different movies give me different kinds of emotion. How everytime I finished watching one, I'll come up with stupid resolutions. But by the time I finished watching another one, I'll think differently about the previous resolutions and come up with something more ridiculous.
Man I hate being broke. I hate it when I have to share something I really treasure with someone I barely know. But mostly, I hate the fact that there's no more DVD to watch once my finals are over. gahh~
Need more food. Need more money. Need a new set of guitar strings. |
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| CAUGHT UP IN KARMA |
[Sep. 12th, 2006|09:54 am] |
happy 21st birthday to me.
i dun feel like a 21yrs old.
i regret ever getting to this point of life.
i regret being ever so deceitful.
i regret meeting people who deceived me.
is this the whole karma thing?
fish. help. |
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| TOGETHER AS ONE. |
[Aug. 1st, 2006|09:08 pm] |
| [ | location |
| | campus | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
kya! Finally, after three years worth of efforts, my b-ball team managed to bring back bronze medals last saturday while the boys get to hold some silver ones last sunday. The best thing is, I get to see those from futsal team sufferred a hell of a loss. Both female teams lost to K11's team. What a pity. NOT. They played selfishly. Right from the beginning. It served them right that they lost to K11. hmpf. Padan muka. pbblt ;p
After the tiring game, spent the remaining of the weekend with Noni and Pali. Watched "Lady in the Water" and it was intriguing. Went bowling twice with them and had lots of fun. Laughed like hell as Pali sucked badly at bowling. tchaha. I got myself a new bag and a long-sleeve t-shirt which is exactly the same as Pali's. Uniform ke kelas. teehee. Bought Noni a new pair of b-ball footgears and she got herself a new motorola SLVR L7 for quite a bargain. Went for karaoke and we sang like nobody's business. Plus, I unfortunately had to escort those two kids-at-heart people for a night tram ride at danga bay. gah. So embarassing k. A bunch of UTM student found to be riding a tram amidst those children is a suicide.
Happy Friendship's Day people. Good day.
:) |
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